Losing someone is the worst feeling…

Losing someone is the worst feeling, you start to think about a lot of things; the last thought they had, the last thing they did, was the process hurtful for them? Can they give you insights on life after death? Can you think their ghosts into reality whenever you miss them like the movies? Are they watching you right now? Will you ever see them again? How are you supposed to move on? Most importantly, where exactly are they right now?

Then you settle that…

Life is unfair! They didn’t deserve to die; there are worse people still hale and hearty. Your life is taking a downturn, they were the breadwinners. You are probably going to die from heartache you feel. Your life is miserable you want to end it. Your life should have been taken in place of theirs. You hate God, He let it happen, He took them away.

If only…

If only you had expressed completely how much they meant (and still mean) to you before they left. If only you had forgiven and focused on the little time they had left instead of a silly grudge. If only you had thrown away your pride and checked up on them first. You know that time you saw their missed call?  If only you had returned it. If only you had given them that complement. If only you had been a more meaningful part of their existence. If only you had more good memories. If only you had made them as important as the hurt feels. If only you had written the sweet message you are writing beside their picture right now when they were alive to see it.

Then you realize…

It wouldn’t have taken anything from you to have expressed how you felt to them. The good memories (fun, laughter, joy) you have aren’t enough but they are worth it. You may not completely heal but you will feel better eventually. You will never forget them but the nightmares will end.  It’s okay to be mad at God but it’s wise to forgive and trust Him. Their ‘death’ wasn’t a waste, if for anything it was meant to give you a reality check, help you reflect on your life and summarize…

That…

Life is a gift, but a short one. Nobody is too old, too beautiful, too young, too hardworking, too smart, too healthy, too wicked, too exceptional and too sick to die. Nobody deserves it more than the other, but we are all going to die. Death doesn’t give any warning signals and we all have a set date to die; death doest procrastinate. Life is more than the things we chase after and call ‘achievements’ , life is about seizing every moment, making happy memories, making the right people happy, living happy, living right, forgiving easily , laughing loud, appreciating life.

So…

Live life! Appreciate life and other things that come with it (the good the bad the ugly) . Remember those things you planned to do in future?  You don’t know the future but you know now so ‘now’ is the ‘future’ you’ve got . Live life without a bother, because in the end, your flaws, scars, setbacks, disappointments, etc won’t matter.

RIP Nosa, it hurts stupid that you are gone and I never told you some things. Thank you for the lessons  but most importantly  the friendship, God bless your soul, I love you (I still think about you a lot). And for everybody that has lost someone, I pray God gives you the strength to deal with loss and move on.